Sometimes negotiating the positions of UK Newspapers on important issues can be a bit of a minefield. This handy guide will tell you everything you need to know thanks to the timeless medium of the “Chicken crossing the road” joke.
Daily Express: SAS ‘Distracted Diana driver by placing a chicken in the road’
The Sun: Clucking Mad: Thanks to EU, 90% of Romanian chickens will make their way into chicken crossing road jokes.
The Times: Small business ‘would benefit’ from extra chicken road crossing points
The Mirror: Exclusive footage of ‘paedo chicken’ crossing road (the picture will later have turned out to be faked)
The Independent: Chickens in Iraq ‘still don’t have road to cross’ after war
The Guardian: Survey shows that only ‘well-raised free-range chickens’ appear in jokes
The Telegraph: Chicken crosses road to pay homage to Prince George
Daily Mail: FURY as Council Orders to Only Let Halal Chickens Cross Road
Daily Star: (Whatever the headline here, it’ll be dwarfed by a picture of a scantily clad lady holding a pair of strategically placed chickens)